Short

Yearning.

Yearning.

This morning I realized that the outcome of my whole day often heavily relies on how I feel when I woke up, which might be based but it’s more often true than not. Subconsciously, I started checking the time on my phone, doing the usual and I noticed some minute passed by, and then I’ll say, “I’ll do X after Y, then oh I’ll do this after, and etc etc.” While enjoying CS:GO major highlights or it’s Takagi-san teasing Nishikata a thousand times, I noticed that the algorithm has been to powerful for my attention to defeat.


The num of information will grow exponentially from today for the obvious reasons:

  1. Replicative nature of contents
  2. Transmission of content spreading at a way more fast pace as in funnels
  3. Sum content

At this point, I believe you agree on how abundant content of entertainment really has become in this age, so let’s talk about the other end, how do builders distract themselves from a world full of distractions? How do we create something out of value when Giga IQ corporations are literally making money out of our goldfish attention span almost everywhere we go. It’s not like we didn’t consent to it anyway, we just conform ourselves to it. Either way, there are reasons for companies to pay youtube billions of dollars to advertise their product in the space.


So what do I find by this? My day is heavily determined if not heavily influenced by one activity that leads to another, whether it’s a subconscious decision or a conscious one. What I love is the great realization when I just started building things through my computer, it’s always a neverending chain of curiosity and self-pleasure. I simply want and beg for more insight. This leads to one conclusion, our brain is made this way.

I understand one or two things about this mechanism that I need to subdue to it before I could exploit its great potential

  1. The brain will never be satisfied
  2. The brain will seek for the next great big thing

It will always have a lurking lingering feeling of progress and instant gratification that immediately dies when it’s fulfilled. To put it even more simple,

Human’s are not meant to be created in the heavens.


Alright, enough with the based take. Okay, listen. First, I couldn’t give a single flying fuck if you believe that we evolve from a fish or a monke or even a duck. But let’s just say you just cucked yourself to God on a Sunday evening and let’s call it that way.

If there’s anything that we can take away from the story of how our great ancestor flunked himself way out of literally divine heaven. It’s due to lack of satisfaction that was engulfed by yearning for something He does not acquire. Whether it’s a state of being for the human or an object to be obtained. The feeling of yearning for something that does not have the experience of will leave a hole that theoretically will never be able to be filled.

Satan was merely exploiting the bug that Adam already have at deployment

So how do we take advantage of this bug?

Let’s not call it a bug, well let’s call it a bug if it does you badly, if it does you good, let’s call it a feature. Imagine you had everything, like literally fucking everything. But one person came oh but you don’t have X and only X (with a smug) At this point on, you kinda only have two options, whether to think about X or not to think about X. Okay, I already see your ego burning, ok so you think the question is unfair because you don’t even know what even is X and how it would potentially influence you moving forward. Well, that’s the catch because you don’t know how it would make you feel. The only way to figure it out is to have X.

Days or weeks or months pass by without you having X but you’re collecting assumptions about what X is and how it would make you feel when you have it. You just can’t shove it off and now everything feels less fun cause you filled your head with the relentless curiosity of a state that you have not to acquire.

That’s how yearning feels.

Obviously, how the story ends is you are inevitably tempted to bargain for X even if it means losing it all. We took X and sent it to the world we call earth. Where what we want does not magically appear and we actually have to fight for it. How boring! Or is it how we are supposed to function in the first place? Do you get my point anon? Well supposedly God is omnipotent but why does God go to such extreme length at delivering the story? Because we will inevitably be stubborn. We are not supposed to learn from only our mistakes because certain scenarios are hardly replicable, therefore having to go through the same experience as Adam will be theoretically impossible, but we could always learn from our ancestors.


Ok, how do I turn this into a billion-dollar startup?

Unfortunately, someone has done it, they even focused their lives to exploit plebs like us that scrolls tiktoks at one fucking am in the morning expecting a burst of laughter, holy shit have some self-control (not me btw, but I know someone who does). Alright so coming back to a chain reaction, my point is that one thing will always lead to another, like that one time you first kiss your gf and think that is your limit just to be surprised there is no limit to your degeneracy in the following months.

Listen, just submit to it, you will never be satisfied and you will always be curious. Satisfaction is one thing and self-control is another.


Imagine there’s a state that you want to be in. The better the mental image the better it will influence your decision. That will be the core of your subconscious grind. At just as one thing leads to another you have left within 300 chrome tabs and 5 hours feels like 30 minutes. You shut down and step back from the chair and realize that you are extremely proud of yourself. You have no idea how you could sit and do that for that long but you wish you could do it again. And yes damn well you could, you just need to identify the cues that lead to that chain reaction, to fill every unmet desire you have and to fill every knowledge gap with another. Leaning is a lifelong adventure and you will never be satisfied and you will always be curious.